Complication
by walkthatlonesomevalley
Summary: Oliver is having a hard time dealing with Karma Ashcroft's curiosity.


_*I never write from Oliver's perspective so this was a little fun. I had intended to write something else but this just came out, hopefully I'll get the chance to work on that other Oliver story soon but who knows*_

**Complication**

**Part I**

My therapist told me to go out for drama. She also told me to do the things I want to do more and push myself out of my comfort zone.

"Hey Oliver, how have things been?" I hated when she talked to me. She always tried to talk to me.

"I told you, you're one of my triggers."

"How?!" I know it's not right but she reminds me of Amy and all the things in my life that I've fucked up by being this way, so she should at the very least know it and avoid me. She should respect my wishes and leave me the fuck alone because explaining would be too hard. But then again. My therapist said...

"You're popular. You're with Liam Booker."

"So…" Karma always made these little faces and said these little things. It was like life was so easy for her. I'd be lying if I said that didn't make me mad.

"So…" I continued, taking a risk and looking at her. "You're one of the sheep."

"And why should silly sheep bother you? All I've ever done is be nice to you."

"Right," I scoffed. Karma Ashcroft wasn't nice. Karma Ashcroft was a horrible person who lied about things to get attention. "You're not nice."

"Excuse me?"

"You're not nice."

"Okay, fine," she said, turning to me and crossing her arms. "What have I done to you? How have I been mean?" She smiled a little. "You keep telling me I'm one of your triggers yet you barely talk to me and every time we've had interactions you've left the winner. You won the drama spot. You kissed Amy in front of me… If anything you should be one of _my_ triggers." I knew she was joking about that last bit, trying to get me to smile. Karma Ashcroft was the definition of normal.

"You don't get it," I said. And how could she? She's so normal. I'm so not.

It's just that simple.

But no one ever gets it.

"I just… I don't want to have enemies for no reason Oliver. I like you and your piece in drama was great. I've never had any reason to dislike you. I just don't get this," she waved her hand between us sadly, acknowledging the tension, the tension that only I had made with her.

"People dislike you with good reason," I said.

"Do they though?" She perked up. "See, after everything last year, the mess I made, all the people I loved who I hurt. And I did love them, there's no question about that. I love everybody, it's a sickness," I couldn't tell if she was truthful. Being normal means having normal feelings. Love to me is complex and half hurt. In that way she does make sense. She did hurt a lot. I watched her hurt. And she hurt others. Love is hurting, I guess. She went on and I listened, "But the thing is, everyone else? Everyone here? Nobody else knows me. Not really, not even close… Like you," she stopped a second and pointed at me, that smirk still on her face, she always seemed to be smirking, always so sure of her confidence while confident. And just like most humans when she wasn't confident she was a goddamn mess.

"What about me?" I asked.

"What do you even know about me?"

"I know you wanted to be popular enough to hurt Amy."

"See… You don't know shit about me, or Amy!" Karma smiled and almost laughed but she slammed her locker in that tense angry way that girls do. I watched her move to put her books in her bag. She seems frustrated with me.

"That was a true statement."

"Oh right, so if I said that you hide from everything because you think it's all bullshit, would that be the truth about you? Is that what you are? Is that who you actually are, Oliver?"

Yup, she was pissed. And she had me.

And she was right.

That's what people assumed.

That's what I tried to tell myself.

"There's a person here, see. I'm a person. You're a person." She reached up and grabbed my hand, moving it to her chest and placing her own hand above my heart. For a second I could feel the pounding in her and the pounding in me. I was going to move but I didn't. Instead I just looked out at my hand and felt it there on her, felt her heart. Karma Ashcroft's heart was beating, just like mine. It was beating fast. She was mad. I was mad.

I looked around. People were staring.

"Don't touch me," I said, stepping back. I couldn't handle the association.

"Wow… And I'm one of _your_ triggers, huh?" Karma asked, obviously disappointed, and rightfully so. She let me shoo her away but I could see the hint of tears in her eyes and I recognized that I had caused that.

Amy was walking up behind her. I knew I needed to go. If Karma was one of my triggers Amy was THE trigger, the one person who could get me to EXPLODE without even looking at me.

I picked my bag up.

"Look, I… I'm sorry," I said.

I could feel Amy's head swing upward behind Karma, she was about to see me, we were about to lock eyes.

"You're right. I'm wrong. But I have to go," I said hurridly, turning from her quick and walking away.

I knew that behind me Amy was approaching Karma and I knew they would talk about me. I hated that thought.

I walked away. Fast.

My heart still pounding in my chest. My hand still feeling her.

**Part II**

"What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"I heard you were touching Karma in the hall today."

"Right," I shrugged. Liam Booker was the last person I needed to talk to.

"Right," he said, not moving, like the annoying shit that he was.

"I get it, you're bigger than me, you can beat me up."

"What are you talking about?" Liam asked, almost confused. He was standing too close. I didn't like him there. But there wasn't a threat in him. He wasn't threatening me. He was just asking a question.

"Karma won't leave me alone."

"What does she want from you? Maybe I can help."

"I don't even know. I think she wants me to like her."

"Sounds like Karma, alright," Liam smiled.

Were we actually talking? Was this a "normal" conversation? At first I felt threatened but he wasn't. He wasn't threatening me.

I smiled despite wanting to. I probably looked silly, with red in my cheeks.

I looked up at Liam and noticed that his cheeks were a little red.

"You're blushing," I said. My smile ridiculous.

"She does that to me. She's insane."

"She is," I concurred.

"Ya know, she's really not as bad as everyone assumes she is."

"I know," I said. But I knew I didn't know enough. I knew I had already hurt her feelings by assuming the worst and treating her like a caricature, like most of these jerks treated me.

"She said you were great at the drama tryouts. She mentions that a lot."

"What?" I didn't even know what to say. Karma Ashcroft and Liam Booker talked about me? Like… Together?

"Yeah, she said you sang that song and everyone cried. She cried," Liam tilted his head, admitting something that Karma obviously probably didn't want him to know. "I just remember, she was so sad she didn't get it but then at the end of the night she told me she was glad you did."

"Really?" My face probably looked so stupid right now. My cheeks burned.

"Yeah.. It was really sweet," Liam said. LIAM SAID.

"Why are you talking to me?"

"I dunno… I just realized we never talked and I never knew why."

"Hmm… You're popular, I'm not."

"What do you think being popular is, Oliver?" Liam laughed a little and I didn't get it.

"I dunno.. Being good at stuff I guess."

"Not really," Liam smiled. "Have you seen my shitty art?"

"Yeah, I've seen it," I laughed, probably a little too cruel.

"Being popular means that you talk to everyone and let everyone in, no matter how different. It means a lot of different kinds of people like to talk to you. That's all that it means. This isn't the 1950's anymore. It's not about being the quarterback or being the prettiest." He twitched his head and flipped his hair a little and I had to smile.

_Right…_ I thought… He was half right.

But Liam was good at things and one of those things WAS talking.

"Why are you talking to me about this."

"You never talk to me. It's weird."

"So, I'm weird," I said.

"It must be what she feels," Liam said, putting two and two together. "She talks to you. Tries to know you. I've seen it before. You just shut her down."

"I don't want to talk to people."

"You don't have to, that's fine. But a person like Karma, she takes it personally." This was all a little weird.

"It's not because I don't like her," I lied.

"It is though. You talk to Amy."

"Amy's different."

"Yeah.. She's more open," Liam noted. Liam knew Amy.

"More grounded," I said. I didn't like that he knew.

"They're best friends Oliver. They do everything together. Always have."

What was he trying to say?

"Oh well… Amy has a girlfriend now anyway."

"What does that mean?"

"It means Karma's freaking out."

"She doesn't want her to be happy?"

"She doesn't want her to be someone else's."

"Wow," I said… "How's that working out for you?"

"I think I have to move on."

What the hell was he saying to me?! Was I having a heart-to-heart with a person like Liam Booker?! WHY THE FUCK WOULD I EVEN PARTICIPATE IN THAT?!

"That sucks," I said. All I could think about was Amy though. Amy with a girlfriend. Amy with someone so good that it even made Karma jealous. "Fuck," I said, not realizing I said it out loud.

"People around here don't get it. They think they know…" Liam sat down on the bench and held his own hands out in front of him, resting his elbows on his knees, he was obviously upset about life. "They see Karma and me and they think we're both assholes but we didn't ask for any of this. Karma's not happy. I'm not happy."

"No one's happy," I said.

"Amy seems happy…"

There was a long silence because I really didn't know what to say.

I wanted to make Amy happy.

I wanted to be that person and have that person.

"You really like her huh?" Liam asked.

"Guess I do…" I said.

"Well... " Liam stood up and grabbed my shoulder. He touched me the way other guys touch in locker rooms, guys who aren't me. "You don't know her Oliver. She's great, she is. But you don't even know her." He paused. "Anyway… Thanks for talking."

"Yeah," I said, as he walked out of site.

What the fuck was that?!

**Part III**

She's over there. Just over there.

Amy's sitting by a tree and for once she's alone.

I have to do it. I have to. My therapist said.

I kicked my feet into moving and felt myself approaching her much faster than I had meant.

"Hi Amy."

"Wha- oh, Oliver," she smiled up at me. "Hi."

"Hi," I smiled back, my heart racing. She had been playing with her phone but she stopped and put it to the side.

"What's up?"

"Just saw you over here alone. Hadn't talked to you in a while."

I remembered that first day with the toilet paper. I still don't know why I talked to her then. That wasn't like me at all.

"Oh, sit," she said, patting the spot next to her on the grass. God, she was pretty.

"Karma said you were weird the other day."

"She did?"

"Yeah, she said she always tries to talk to you but you always brush her off," it wasn't a lie.

"I just… Don't know how to deal with her."

"I get that," she laughed, leaning back on her hands. "She's a strong personality." Amy smiled.

"So are you," I said, defensively.

"Nahh," Amy said. She laid back on her elbows and lowered herself down onto her back. I did the same. "So… How's life in Oliver land? It must be nice to be free of paparazzi, I still can't catch a break," she looked over at me and smiled.

"So you hate it?"

"It's just not me," she said. "It doesn't matter though.. How are you?"

"Shitty, really," I said, being truthful.

"What?" She seemed concerned. I blinked to try and fix what I did.

"It's not that bad. Just stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

"I umm… I like this girl but she doesn't know I exist."

"I bet she knows," Amy smiled.

"It's you Amy. I like you."

"What?" She sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees, holding them and turning to me.

"It's weird, I know it is."

"Oliver, I know you exist." She said, almost angry with me.

"I was joking," I lied.

"Why didn't you say something?"

"After we kissed you just sort of… Forgot about me."

"No, I apologized and told you it wasn't me."

"I know, but-"

"Oliver, how long have you been wanting to talk to me about this?"

"A while," I said.

"Great," she said, tugging at the grass and dropping it from her hand.

She laid back down and I did too.

"Sometimes I wonder if there is anyone I know who I'm not actually hurting all the time…" I'd made her sad.

"Amy, it's no big deal."

"It is though," she said. "I should've noticed.

"How could you? I was avoiding you," I smiled.

"Yeah, well… I should've noticed that," she said, staring back at me lovingly.

"It doesn't matter."

"I'm with someone," she said. "And even then.. It just.. It wasn't right," she was looking at me so closely, watching me.

I wanted to know though, what wasn't right? We were good together. I thought we were good.

"I didn't feel-"

"You can stop," I said.

I couldn't handle the truth or the words.

"But you obviously need me to say it," she pushed. And she wasn't wrong. "I didn't feel that thing with you," she said, crushing me. I felt that thing. With her I felt that thing.

I let out a puff of air and tried not to cry.

"My therapist said I need to talk to you."

"Well, you're talking to me," she said.

"I think she meant, I needed to hear what you just said."

"Oliver…"

"I'm an idiot, ya know? An asshole…" I sat up. "All that stuff I said to you before about these other kids being so desperate? I'm just like them. I'm just. I'm the same."

"I don't see how that's a bad thing," she said, sitting up.

"What's wrong with me?" I asked.

That stupid question just wouldn't leave me alone. It was everywhere. It followed me. Chased me.

"Nothing," Amy said, that soft reassuring smile of hers plain as day.

"I hate people," I said.

"There's a lot of people I don't like," she tried.

"No, Amy. I hate people."

"Who?" She asked.

"Karma… Liam… People who hurt you-"

"What?" She scoffed. "I love Karma," she said.

"I know, and that's why I hate her."

"Oliver, you don't even know her."

"Why do people keep telling me that?"

"Who?"

"Karma. Liam. You!"

"What?"

"Karma won't leave me alone. She's always saying nice things. Always touching me."

"Oooo," Amy teased. "Sounds real bad."

I felt her punch my arm lightly, a friendly nudge.

"And Liam told me too. He said Karma liked me and she probably couldn't stand that I didn't like her."

"Sounds about right," Amy nodded. "But why the hell would you talk to Liam?"

"I don't know," I said… Why was I doing any of these things?

"Oh well, it doesn't matter."

"It matters," I said. I knew it was wrong. Amy didn't understand the level of hate I had inside.

"If you don't like what you feel, change it," she said.

"Right, and you can just start having feelings for me then, right?"

"Ha-ha," she said. "It's not the end of the world that we're not together, Oliver." She was talking about me and her. "I've loved Karma my entire life and we aren't together and I'm dealing with it."

"Are you?"

"Yeah," she shrugged. "I mean, I have to. That's what you do when you love someone. You help them be happy with someone else. That's just what you do."

"I don't like that."

"So what, you want to enslave me?" She joked. That smile just killed me. How was she just talking about this? Saying these things?

My therapist was right. It was easy.

"No," I smiled. I wasn't angry anymore. Not at us.

"Life is just shitty... " She smiled over at me, pulling me to her in a sort of side-hug. "We love each other and hate each other and we're different and the same and it's all a big fucking mess, ya know?"

"Yeah," I said, loving her touch. "I know."

It was strange…

"You can't hate Karma, okay? If you hate her I'll have to hate you."

"K," I said. But I couldn't help but wonder if this was it for us, the very end.

"You're sweet… Ya big hater."

"You're just as bad as them, you know that right?"

"I know," she smiled knowingly. She accepted things. She was better than me.

"I wish I was more like you," I said.

"Don't do that," she pushed, holding me tighter. "The world needs more yous."

It was enough to crush my soul. I felt her turn her head into mine. I felt her lips on my hair. I felt her breathe.

I felt.

I felt.

The bell rang.

And then it was over.


End file.
